Day 18 - evening

Difficult tonight. Seems like I've forgotten how bad smoking was. When will I forget how great smoking is?

Held my nerve though. Just. There's no physical craving, but psychologically it's very hard. I'm BORED of not smoking.

Day 17 - afternoon

I'm having a bit of a moment. The sight of someone sucking on their pen like a cigarette is making it a bit difficult for me. I'd really like one. Really. It's sweltering in here. Why don't I want to smoke again? Why. Old hollow chest is back. Everything is a bit annoying. Oh to step outside away from everyone. With burning firestick in my mouth. I can't remember why I shouldn't do it. If I hold out I'll have gone a whole week without any tobacco at all. Must be strong. Will eat homemade burgers tonight. Hot bath. Grand theft auto maybe.

Day 16 - afternoon

Haven't posted for a while. Have things really been going that well?

I've realised something. Yes, there are some 'good' cigarettes. The one after a great meal. Or with a coffee in a comfortable chair. Or outside a building in the sunshine. But to get these good cigarettes you have to have the 20 bad ones that make you cough and whezze and block your arteries and make you think you're going to die. So, yes, by giving up the bad ones, you're also giving up the good ones. I think it's OK to miss them, so long as you remember the bad things you're giving up too.

Day 14 - afternoon

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday at all. Not smoking is becoming routine. (Must remain vigilant.)

My worst moment was in a hotel lobby, when I saw a woman by herself drinking and smoking a cigarette. There is something quite wonderful about smoking in a comfortable chair.

But it's for single people really. And I've had those moments and am happy (?) to let them go.

And today's been alright, mostly because I feel slightly ill!